Lean on...

I woke up this morning, around 8am blankets off, sheet crumpled up in the middle of the bed. I must have a had a very restless nights sleep.I had left the stereo on and this song woke me up. It was so beautiful it reminded me of something I had heard before. I turned over in bed and saw J laying there. I was angry because I told all of them I wanted to be alone. I wanted time to think in my own head and not with someone else's view clouding my own judgment. He was staring at me and I was stunned out of my stupor of sleep. " morning " he said softly placing his hand on my face. " how, did you get in here?" I asked curtly " your father let me in this morning before he left for breakfast" he replied softly in his accent. I sat up in bed turning towards him. " Did you not understand what I was talking to you about last night? " I asked. " YES" he tone became stern. " But it was going to be a beautiful day today and I didn't want you or I to waste it." he replied. " I never waste days, If I want to lay in bed all day I do. If I want to go out I will. I don't feel guilty" I said. " Let's not do this right now darling, we can talk about it all when you wake up fully.I just want to enjoy being with you all this conversation and talking is just to much right now, your stressed , you have a lot going on, and I just want to be there for you isn't that ok. " smiling sheepishly as he finished his last word. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I just want to be with you." Kissing the top of my hand " OR perhaps I can make love to you all day." whispering close to my lips. " NO, that is the last thing I want or need right now I am still tired I hardly slept." I chimed at him. " You were sound asleep when I came in this morning, you looked so peaceful, so relieved,so precious you had a snow white vibe going on all the animals I had to move a cat or two to get in bed but I managed to be so quite without waking you." again with his full on charm. " Can't you just be my friend, right now." I asked laying back down he put his arms around me my back pressed against him and he snuggled his face in my hair. " I will be whatever you want" I just fell back asleep. Over on my desk I found a posted note when woke up
" Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal." <3 j

Thank you I had a lovely day. The city was brighter for some reason.

The Red Blooded Dames.......

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”



If you choose not too, Please, Don't let the door hit you on the way out.


Edited for polite and proper etiquette

seriously kiss my ass.

Shattered,Annihilate,Decimate

What do you do when you feel alone in crowded rooms? What do you do when you feel all of your energy has been sapped just by one conversation? When you do think or feel enough is enough? When is it you starting laughing at someone but not with them because they sound so ignorant? How is it there are times that for my own survival I need to be by myself. I need to relax. I need to find quite and tranquility. I don't like to be around people who are constantly needing to move, needing , needing ,needing something to keep them entertained. I feel restless around people like that. It's like being around a speed tweeker. They can't sit still. There is a difference between lazy and relaxing. Lazy is just sloth,indolent. Finding time to just sit read a book, getting lost in thoughts. You can do this around others. I enjoy and delight in comfortable silences. Where words aren't needed but company is enough. I often discuss with other friends who are only children and they are the same way. I would hear often how only children were needy all the time. My independence is my virtue and my flaw. I have many thoughts and emotions I keep to myself. At times they are overwhelming Libra's minds are always racing. I wonder if I shared these overwhelming thoughts and emotions would those around me still think I was to them who I was or would they scatter like sheep. It's easy to say it's their loss but when vulnerability is shared and shattered it's is very difficult to pick up and dust off. I would much rather march to the beat of my own drum, alone if I must. Then conform to what makes everyone else happy. If you find one person in your life who truly gets you, who understands, who doesn't judge , who doesn't make you feel as if you don't belong. Love them unconditionally, give back to them the happiness and joy they give to you.

My World has been Rocked

Cocktail parties with pink champagne, high heel shoes,cigarettes and boys in tuxedos make this girl's heart fuzzy!

Soliloquize

Go ahead I dare you, talk to me as if I am interested.